finally

my onli wish on my wish list comes thru.... i m leaving prison n going back home liao..... due to medical reason which i dun wanna further explain..... thanks for all ur supports..... i dunno will i have the mood to blog when i go back anot.... but anyway.... will leave prison soon.... yeah!!! cheers ............

tat's all folks..............

23-26April09

haiz.... very sad.... in this crappy state for 1mth liao... nothing seems to be improving... pain is still there.... everyday the 1st half n hour... when i wake up i m in pain... n the last half n hour when i go sleep.... i m in pain too..... wat kind of shitty life is this... u start of ur day with pain... n end ur day with pain too .... i dunno i can hang on to this crap for how long more.... i cannot do anything.. doctors cannot do anything.... all we can do is to wait for my body to get better by itself... so its all abt waiting... i dunno wat else i can do to get better... the pain nvr get better... at times i tot it got worse instead.... really very sickening....

people start asking mi how is the pain like?? i really dunno how to explain.... for gals... its like u have PMS n cramp everyday every hour lor.... for guys... imagine u got stomachache the whole day... but no shit come out... but the pain still there for the whole day.... i guess thats the nearest i can imagine....

i everyday take so much pain killer... i really start to scare it will be bad for my liver liao... now i trying to do things to distract myself from the pain... hope to cut down on the pain killer... haiz... when u nothing to do sit at home too long... ur imagination really will run wild... scare this scare tat.... actaully no need to scare de.... but just 自己吓自己.... kind of dumb... but this is human... always do dumb stuffs... haha...

weather in prison start to turn cold liao.... human is like tat... when too hot... den grumble too hot... when cold liao den also wanna make noise... haha... i think i like the cold just tat when i go shower in the evening abit too much for mi... other den tat just wear a jacket lor.... hope when its cold i won't be so pain.... i already tolerate this pain for 1mth liao.... haiz... i m at the verge liao... going to be crazy soon liao....

my weight still hanging at 70-72kg... haha.. not going down leh... haiz... cannot break the 70kg limit... sian.... when i look into the mirror... haiz... y this kind of thing happen to mi....... y.........? sometime i really think i very 无辜.... just sway sway like tat... nobody wan..... but wasted my time.... i already waste so much liao... y still like tat.... i m 1 of the oldest among the peers in prison... meaning i wasted quite alot of time liao.... dun tell mi i got working experience... tat doesn't help much de.... haiz... now this crap waste another like half yr time.... i where got so much time.... i really hate myself for loving u..... A......... how come i sing song liao hahahah.... i mean i really hate myself lor... now really lost liao.... nothing much i can do liao... my favourite past time watching drama... my drama going to finish liao... no more new stock..... i got nothing to do liao....

dearest stalkers... yeah u.... u reading my blog rite... u are stalker.... dun doubt its u.... give mi some suggestion wat can i do to past time.... i dun wan to waste $$ n i cannot go out... must give u all something to do mah... if not everytime i write till hand ache... u all just happliy read like a joke like tat song song.... better give mi some good ideas... whoever give mi crap ideas i will post their name big big in my next update huh.... haha... i think nobody dare to give suggestion liao... u LOSER!!!! hahahha

everynite when i go to bed.... i told u liao... at least 1st half n hour i m in pain de... i said at least becos sometime the pain last more den 30mins... dun ask y i dunno.... n recently it got worse becos everynite when i in pain... there are guitar sound....... tat makes mi lagi pek chek... pain + guitar.. OMG.... dunno how to say the pek chek feeling... like my head wanna explode like tat.... haiz.... i think if i can tahan this crap.... when its over... i can tahan any crap liao..... i cannot imagine i need to put up with this kinda crap.... wat wrong did i do....? i think i know... the onli wrong thing i did was to decide to come to prison.... that's the 1st wrong thing... others is just add on n add on... haiz.... life sucks... there is no doubt abt tat.....

crap finish liao..... i nvr know i can crap so much... all my life i dun like writing.... in sch... i nvr hand in my compo de.... becos i dunno how to n wat to write... dun ask mi how i survive my sch day becos over liao... dun ask mi how i pass my O-level english becos i didn't... wahahahhaha.... but now.... i can write so much crap here.... i m sure its more den 300words lor... last time... 300words is like wan my life lor... wahahhahahaah i think 1yr i need to write 20compo.... i also dunno got hand in more den 5 anot.... wahhaha..... my teachers also give up on mi liao... yeah.... those were the days.... but even now u ask mi write compo... i still dunno how to write.... hate writing....

ok ok... tat's all folks....

17-22nd April09

this few day nothing happen much... had homemade sushi on sun nite... some friends come over my place make sushi for dinner... nothing much....

monday go hospital for review... bloody hell....the doctors really is come to VIEW onli... see see nia... like tat boon song.... have to make mi pain all the way from my place to hospital just becos they wan to see my drainage got how much.... knn.. call the clinic ask the nurse lah.... everyday also got record de mah.... duh.......... waste my time go for nothing.....

wed..... which is today... my tube slipped out quite alot over nite... abt 10.5cm... the nurse dun dare to flush for mi... just drain n measure... take my vital.... tat's all... den i go to the Doctor's clinic... today i m seen by the consultant...

ok side track abit... Doctor also got rank ok... Intern is those just pass out nia... everything not sure know anot tat type... new bird... After a year or 2 if they A sai n din do stupid things like kill a patient den can promote to Registar... Registar is the slightly A hiao n A sai 1... abit more exp. de... den if they lucky do things right for a few years din become 007 (Licence to Kill)... they will promote to Consultant... which is the lao da... the leader... simi mah A hiao n C bay A sai eh... ho eh...

anyway saw my consultant today... finally... he saw my tube... frown abit... i told him it slip out he say ok will check... need to see if still got very long inside anot... apprentlly during my 1st op... they really push in alot of the tube lor... imagine come out 10.5cm liao... he still can cut n say inside still got somemore.. wat the heck!!!! how much tube did they put inside my stomach man.... damn.... den he ask mi go lay on the bed take off my pant..... den he start to go gather his ka chan(tools) liao... he come back... ok i need to stitch u up again... damn... i will do local anaesthetic dun worry... the anaesthetic is by injection lor.... ouch ouch... he poke at least 2 time at 2 places... den b4 the anaesthetic start working he start liao.... OUCH!!!! damn.... the nurse ask him need to wait anot.. he say.... "he will be more pain if there is no anaesthetic" den LL... but he did it quite fast lah.... apprently i heard he is a very good surgeon... den he tell mi now we wait for the water tat come out t be less den 30ml... den we can pull out the tube... after tat will arrange for some scan.... if the scan show tat my appendix had dissolve... den i m recover liao... if my appendix is still there... den need 2nd op... haiz... c bay sian... den he actually wan to see mi in 2weeks time... but he not around... so he say 3weeks... i go out make appointment.... the admin say onli 2 or 4 weeks later.... na bei... den 4 weeks lor... sian lah.... i need to wait till mid May den see him again... wa lao.... siao lor... have to wait so long.... n pain so long... argh.......... but den bo bian... LL suck thumb... wait lor... now i just hope the pain will go away.... n tat stupid appendix better dissolved... den i no need 2nd op... i so wanna go home!!!!! where is country road... haha..

tat's my crap for now... enjoy reading..... tat's all folks.....

10-16April09

now basically i stay at home rot everyday... so nothing to blog abt..... today went back hospital for a review... haiz.... not tat i wanna say.... but dun say i really bay tahan......this is wat happen...

yesterday i need to draw blood... but becos my vein not so obvious... n the nurse can't really see... after 1 attempt she couldn't get any blood she stop liao... she dun wan to poke mi another time very nice of her... but den i need to go hospital today earlier to draw blood lor... so today i went early to draw blood.. the lab guy very pro... 1 time nia.... draw all the blood required liao... n not so painful also... den i go to the clinic... my appointment is 1045am... i was there 1010am.... the clinic is not the Doctor's clinic so have to page the doc... n he is in his own clinic until 12noon... i wait till 11am den the nurse come to mi tell mi i got to wait till 12noon... very nice of her.. den bo bian lor... we go find cafe la teh lor... 12 noon go back.... still got to wait.... already waited 2hrs liao... finally a indian doc come in... Mr Ng... yes... ok come in... shit not my doc leh... ask him liao den he say his ah neh (big brother in indian) today MC... wat the crap... so he come see mi... he really is come to "see" mi lor... nothing much he can do.... he dunno my case... today is his ah neh wanna review mi n discuss with the nurse see when wanna put out my tube mah.... i was thinking... if my doc not in den tell mi lah... drain my bag den let mi go home lah... y wait so long liao den do nothing... he den call his ah neh... ask wat he wan mi to do... den the ah neh say ask mi go back on mon.... wat the F*** rite.... carp lor.... hear liao i also tulan.... now i have to go back on monday afternoon again... wa lao... i very free everyday sit at home also not like tat tuah mi mah.... haiz... bo bian.... he die die wanna see mi... c bay sian.... after tat the nurse drain for mi liao... i make the appointment with the clinic liao... den my friend sent my sis back to work... den we go eat Mee Pok... yeah... finally something to cheer mi up abit..... now at home to blog lor...

people ask mi to update my blog daily... but i everyday sit at home watch drama... wat to write...? my life is damn simple now... morning wake up wash up liao den eat pain killer... den make 1 cup of milo.... tat is breakfast.... den watch drama chat msn... in between if pain den take 1 more pain killer in the afternoon lunch time i cook porridge den tat's lunch n dinner liao... at nite bath at 8-9pm den watch drama again till hair dry... den take pain killer again b4 i go sleep... so tat when i go sleep not so pain n can sleep... next day 8-9am its the repeated cycle again... everyday same cycle... nothing much....

i was discharged on the 30th March 09.... i weight myself 80kg... today is the 16th April 09... i weighted myself again... 71.85kg...ok round off 72kg.... crap..... 17days lose 8kg lor.... n is continue losing lor... since adult... my record lowest was 69kg when i came back from brunei training... i think this appendix abcess thingy is going to break my record lowest lor... but i everyday in pain... very very pain... the pain is very irritating... i rather grow fat den pain lor.... i think becos of the pain... making mi lose appetite lor... so i also dun feel like eating... i drink water... eat light food... haiz... hope the pain will go away soon.... when tat happen i m going to eat all the food i wan.. haha...

ying ying n Miss Phoon is saying wanna feed mi back to my original weight.. haiz... wat kind of friends are they??? i lost my weight with blood n tears leh... everyday in pain... n they wanna feed mi back again... u all say lah.... they are evil isn't it... wahahhahaha

ok lah... tat's all folks...

31Mar-9April09

hmm... ok... let mi explain to u all.. i m not going back to sch this sem... i deferred my studies for this sem...

this is wat happen...i hospitalised 1week... my appendix swollen until like a 10cm ball so big... inside now imflame liao... nuah liao... rotten liao... they cannot cut away everything becos den... i will be very jialat... now wat they did is... they open a hole... wash abit den put a tube to the abcess... tat is the swollen appendix... so now i have a tube sticking out my stomach n a bag attached to mi... the pus n dirty water is leaking out everyday which is a good sign... everyday a nurse will come drain the bag n see how m i... now the treatment is... everyday the nurse will come drain the bag.. den push in 20ml of water into the tube... tat is to flush water into the affected area... like washing like tat... den i m on anti-biotic... the reason is to let the affected area recover n grow back normal so tat later on 2-3mth later... they can cut away my appendix n not affect other organs.... so now basically i everyday stay at home wait for nurse come in the morning... when pain den i take pain killer... just to let inside recover lor... due to the nurse coming everyday n i got a 2nd op in 2-3mths time...

i cannot continue my studies like this... so i defer this sem... above is the shorten version... hee hee.. i m fine just the pain is still there.. other den that i m fine dun worry... hee hee... feel free to ask any other qns... thanks for ur concern... very nice of u all...

i saw the comments... very thank you... i will be fine... thanks all...

tat's all folks

23-30Mar09

Guess where have i been to this whole freaking week.... thinking prison is the worst.... fat hope... there are worse than den worst.....

i body got screwed up den i got screwed up den i end up 1 week MIA...

this is the whole story... read liao understand... dun ask anymore.. i have repeated a million times liao... the next time u ask is a million 1th times liao...

my pain start coming n going 1mth ago.... trust mi its not at pain.... i dun care.... last weekend the freaking pain dun freaking go.. i cannot sleep so go see Doc in the Uni medical center the next... he go tworried sent mi to Emergency Dept in the nearest hospital. from then on.... i loss count i talk to how many doctors repeating the same story i m saying now.... they ultra-sounded mi.... as if i got baby.... they x-ray mi.. as if X-file... finally CT-scan mi n found the real culpurit... there is this 1 big swollen "Abcess" they call it... sound dangerous to mi.... immediately wan to push mi to OT.... can't even wait... of cos i need to wait for my sis to come.... they tell mi cut open big bowel small bowel leh.... wa lau.... siao.... in the end my sis come i go down liao... tat's the waiting part.... for 3days..... they strave mi n dun let mi eat...den evening tell mi sorri u can eat.... knn... damn TL....finally friday can open mi up wash the abcess liao...but to big a mess now onli can clean..... they stick a bag on to mi so tat all the crap can come out.... den 1-2mth later when its is heal inside... den they can cut away my appendix... the end...

the past 1 week is hell.... dun ask how m i or how i feel becos i onli feel pain... dun ask mi pain anot... i cut u up stick u with a tube n a bag see u pain anot.... i dun wan to be reminded of tat week.... read n dun ask.... if u really wanna ask.... put comment here... i happy i will reply... my mood very very bad now.... becos really really pain now.... all i wan is this pain to go away....

stay tuned i might now blog.... too pain to blog... i endure pain from 1mth... endure all the needles for that past 1 week..... now whenever i pain i will take painkiller.... dun wan to be in pain anymore...

Thanks... tat's all folks...

22Mar09

Cold sunday... i guess season is changing liao.... 1 week its damn hot den it turn damn cold.... haiz... anyway.. the day wasn't very interesting... i wake up in late morning do some work till afternoon.. slack abit... sms my friends from sg becos they say they might wanna eat dinner with mi...

Ok above is the 2pic took by Sean n Vanessa.... went to dinner with them in Freo obviously we went to "Sweet Lips" for fish n chips.. not so bad lah.. quite filling.. haha.... as usual my sad face... but dun look so sad hor...ahahah

Behind mi are the 2 nicest people i ever know.... this is the 2nd yrs i m in prison.... n guess wat... this is the 2nd time they visited mi from SG.... not from sydney not from melbourn... from SG... n visited mi not ONCE... but TWICE.... so far they are the nicest people i know liao.... Sean n i dated back to NS time when he always irritates mi.... n the cute little pretty gal.. Vanessa is his gf.... from his smile u know he is irritating isn't it.... i m sure 1 day he will read this... haha... but they are still very nice friends n my onli friends tat visit mi from home.... i m touched... Thank u Sean n Vanessa.... u guys are great! Oh ya... n thanks for the dinner... haha....

had a great dinner... not much thing i can bitch abt today... tat's all folks....

21Mar09

My tutor ask mi y i always so sad... he told mi life is awesome... n i shouldn't feel so sad... well... i just told him how to feel awesome? wat is so awesome? oh ya... this tutor of mine... very smart... tat's y he is a tutor n i m the student attending the tute.. haha... oh well.... he is very very young... i think like 5-6yrs younger den mi.... but smarter den mi alot... smart till abit scary... like he knows everything... kinda annoying... when u are not so smart n people is so damn smart... n most prob he will read this... haha... yeah.. watever... n we graduate the same time... provide i pass everything... complicated isn't it.... well.. Life isn't tat simple afterall....

photo is a very wonderful invention.... whoever invented it... should get a noble peace prize... picture tells a million words... i was looking thru my photos... den lots of fond memories just flow back like salmons swimming against the stream... keeps on coming... beautiful memories... which for 1 moment it make mi think tat lifes isn't tat bad afterall.... when i turn my head n look around... damn... i m in prison... back to the reality... wat did say abt reality.... THEY R CRUEL!!!! haiz... those were the happy times... now i dun take so much pic... onli take when i m happy.... when is the last time u took a pic...


Alright tat's all folks
PS: go look thru ur photos sometime when u feel down... u will feel better de... oh can someody tell mi wat does "PS" means??/ i onli know "PS:I love u" haha

19&20Mar09

hihi.... very pai seh... last nite got some technical difficulties.... hence, din blog....

last nite nothing much to say... class from 9-6pm den go out eat with sis n friends.. tat's all... recently quite week so last nite order ginsheng chicken soup... whahahahaha... need "bu" abit mah... in prison no soup drink leh.. very poor thing de leh.. cantonese say "mo tham ho yiam" haha....

Friday usually is my favourite day... becos 3hrs nia.... 8-11.... but today sucks... becos got a last min lab from 3-5:30pm... total crap.... from 10 i have to wait till 3pm... which is 5hrs lor.... crap rite... but never lah... this way i also can study abit... now with shu fu in Bio-sci Lib studying... do assignment do till c bay sian.... so come bitch abit... haha.....

PG complaint people is calling her PG... well.. mouth is other people de... they wanna call u wat i cannot do much also... haha....

nothing much.... tat's all folks...

############################################

ok eventually not all yet.... haha....

was MSN-ing my cousin (from penang) long time din chat... when we count back... its abt 4-5yrs... his son already 9yrs old.... i can onli remember his son as a baby.... now 9yrs old liao... omg... i m old liao lor... getting old liao.... n 1 item tat come with the package of getting old is poor memory.... 5yrs ago he brought his family to visitly sg ... it was a X'mas... i was still serving the Nation... i cannot remember i took pic with his son... i was shock when i saw the pic... i was like... "Did i took that pic b4??" i have no idea total no memory at all.... haiz.... now i m study... all i need is memory... yet it is failing mi... haiz... sad... very sad...

yeah yeah... that's all folks again... haha...

18Mar09

today's theme is "what if"...

what if i stay in hometown n din come to prison.....? will i be better off?

what if i continue working n din come study...? will i be better off?

what if... what if.... what if....

ok what if i stay in hometown.. most prob i will be working... earning money not alot... but can sustain my humble livestyle... maybe do a part time degree in some random course... is it better or worst??? hmm... i dun not know... damn.... i ans the 2 what if liao... nothing to write liao.... haha...

i was reading home news... den saw something funny... i think nowaday kid in hometown become stupid liao despite the fact tat they are drinking better milk powderwhich suppose to make them smart but no still stupid... y would i say tat... becos they cannot handle languages n dialect... Parents were encouraged to speak mandrin with their children at home... English is ok... becos the whole day already in school speaking english liao... so go home talk abit of chinese nvm...but dialect cannot... becos the kids cannot handle!!!! dialect are roots of a person... heritage of a culture... n now people telling u... ur heritage n culture will screw up ur language skill??? wat the crap is tat??? den y O-levels got german, french, italian, japanese, korean, blah blah blah... oh.. those won't screw up ur language skill... but speaking ur own dialect will???? omg... tat is do absurb!!! no wonder now got so many generation gap... becos youngster cannot communicate with the old people... wat kind of rubbish is tat... i regret i din master my own dialect.. i can understand but onli can speak a few vocab nia... but i learn to speak hokkein since most of the people in my hometown speak hokkein... later on.. i also learn cantonese so tat i can enjoy Hong kong drama... for those who understand dialect they will understand tat watching opera or drama series in dialect will be better off compare to listening them in mandrin... i m not saying mandrin is not good.... my pt is... dialect is impt... it means ur root , ur heritage, ur culture, ur tradition, etc. etc..... i like speaking dialect more than speaking english... in fact i hate speaking english with a fellow chinese, regardless our nationality... i just find it weird.... unless from young u din touch mandrin at all... den no choice.. if u dun learn ur dialect... u may not know wat u have lost now.... but in future i m sure u will regrets... haha... think abt it bah...

"wa ka li kon, mai hiam wa lo soh, lo soh si wee li ho....." (i tell u, dun think i naggy, naggy is for ur own good) haha....

yeah.... tat's all folks...