23-26April09

haiz.... very sad.... in this crappy state for 1mth liao... nothing seems to be improving... pain is still there.... everyday the 1st half n hour... when i wake up i m in pain... n the last half n hour when i go sleep.... i m in pain too..... wat kind of shitty life is this... u start of ur day with pain... n end ur day with pain too .... i dunno i can hang on to this crap for how long more.... i cannot do anything.. doctors cannot do anything.... all we can do is to wait for my body to get better by itself... so its all abt waiting... i dunno wat else i can do to get better... the pain nvr get better... at times i tot it got worse instead.... really very sickening....

people start asking mi how is the pain like?? i really dunno how to explain.... for gals... its like u have PMS n cramp everyday every hour lor.... for guys... imagine u got stomachache the whole day... but no shit come out... but the pain still there for the whole day.... i guess thats the nearest i can imagine....

i everyday take so much pain killer... i really start to scare it will be bad for my liver liao... now i trying to do things to distract myself from the pain... hope to cut down on the pain killer... haiz... when u nothing to do sit at home too long... ur imagination really will run wild... scare this scare tat.... actaully no need to scare de.... but just 自己吓自己.... kind of dumb... but this is human... always do dumb stuffs... haha...

weather in prison start to turn cold liao.... human is like tat... when too hot... den grumble too hot... when cold liao den also wanna make noise... haha... i think i like the cold just tat when i go shower in the evening abit too much for mi... other den tat just wear a jacket lor.... hope when its cold i won't be so pain.... i already tolerate this pain for 1mth liao.... haiz... i m at the verge liao... going to be crazy soon liao....

my weight still hanging at 70-72kg... haha.. not going down leh... haiz... cannot break the 70kg limit... sian.... when i look into the mirror... haiz... y this kind of thing happen to mi....... y.........? sometime i really think i very 无辜.... just sway sway like tat... nobody wan..... but wasted my time.... i already waste so much liao... y still like tat.... i m 1 of the oldest among the peers in prison... meaning i wasted quite alot of time liao.... dun tell mi i got working experience... tat doesn't help much de.... haiz... now this crap waste another like half yr time.... i where got so much time.... i really hate myself for loving u..... A......... how come i sing song liao hahahah.... i mean i really hate myself lor... now really lost liao.... nothing much i can do liao... my favourite past time watching drama... my drama going to finish liao... no more new stock..... i got nothing to do liao....

dearest stalkers... yeah u.... u reading my blog rite... u are stalker.... dun doubt its u.... give mi some suggestion wat can i do to past time.... i dun wan to waste $$ n i cannot go out... must give u all something to do mah... if not everytime i write till hand ache... u all just happliy read like a joke like tat song song.... better give mi some good ideas... whoever give mi crap ideas i will post their name big big in my next update huh.... haha... i think nobody dare to give suggestion liao... u LOSER!!!! hahahha

everynite when i go to bed.... i told u liao... at least 1st half n hour i m in pain de... i said at least becos sometime the pain last more den 30mins... dun ask y i dunno.... n recently it got worse becos everynite when i in pain... there are guitar sound....... tat makes mi lagi pek chek... pain + guitar.. OMG.... dunno how to say the pek chek feeling... like my head wanna explode like tat.... haiz.... i think if i can tahan this crap.... when its over... i can tahan any crap liao..... i cannot imagine i need to put up with this kinda crap.... wat wrong did i do....? i think i know... the onli wrong thing i did was to decide to come to prison.... that's the 1st wrong thing... others is just add on n add on... haiz.... life sucks... there is no doubt abt tat.....

crap finish liao..... i nvr know i can crap so much... all my life i dun like writing.... in sch... i nvr hand in my compo de.... becos i dunno how to n wat to write... dun ask mi how i survive my sch day becos over liao... dun ask mi how i pass my O-level english becos i didn't... wahahahhaha.... but now.... i can write so much crap here.... i m sure its more den 300words lor... last time... 300words is like wan my life lor... wahahhahahaah i think 1yr i need to write 20compo.... i also dunno got hand in more den 5 anot.... wahhaha..... my teachers also give up on mi liao... yeah.... those were the days.... but even now u ask mi write compo... i still dunno how to write.... hate writing....

ok ok... tat's all folks....